Finding Inner Calm and Deeper Wisdom

Go Deep to Learn Who You Really Are.

Archive for the ‘tantra’ Category

Control Your Addictions

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Did you know that people who meditate regularly are less vulnerable to addictive behaviors? Google it and you will find evidence from a number of sources. So, what is it about meditation that can help you break free of your addictions?

The answer is simple: Attaining the true meditative state is primarily about mind control. In order to achieve that meditative state, you must learn to still your conscious mind. You must learn to stop thinking for a few minutes now and then. That is also called Zen meditation.

Achieving the Zen meditative state means that one part of your mind must develop control over another part. You must learn to center yourself in a higher level of your mind where you can “look down” in a way to observe the actions of your conscious mind thought machine. Once you achieve that separation (both during meditation as well as going about your daily life), you will slowly develop control over the thought process.

As part of that self-training and practice, you develop the ability to “live” in a higher level of your mind and more easily influence activities of parts of your mind lower in the hierarchy. You learn to tell your conscious mind, “No!” when it wants to misbehave. You learn to notice when your conscious mind leans toward behaviors the higher you wants to avoid. You learn how to steer it away from undesired behaviors.

Written by Eduardo Mitchell

November 1, 2013 at 8:38 am

Go Deeper With Tantra

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Let’s take some time to focus on putting meditation and sex together. When you mix sex with the meditative state, you’ll find it is a powerful and useful combination in several ways. It helps you to take sex to a more satisfying and more meaningful level. It also helps focus your meditative practice, and can lead to a deeper level of inner development.

Sex is the most powerful energy in the human body. While we normally use it primarily for pleasure and health—and occasionally for actual procreation, it can also be focused to accomplish things with the mind and body that might otherwise be impossible.

The practice of using the mind to influence the body and, conversely, using the body to influence the mind is called tantra. Since my teaching and coaching is primarily about meditation (and not necessarily sex), the goal of my writing today is more about deepening and expanding your meditation using sex. I want you to add tantra to deepen your meditative practice, thus opening the possibility of receiving knowledge from parts of your mind you’ve never known before.

We’ve looked at the enormous amount of sensory input flooding into the mind from the lips and genitals during sex. I suggest that with the cooperation of your partner, you ask for a period of time while having sex when you don’t communicate with each other, but rather take that time to be quiet and go within yourself. Use your mind to simply notice the huge rush of physical pleasure without actually thinking about it. It will help if, during that time, you can be completely relaxed, not move, and let your partner administer the pleasure to you. Don’t try to achieve orgasm or allow yourself to have any goal whatsoever in your mind.

The concept here is to “tie up” the mind by using it to notice and enjoy the immense pleasure but without thinking about it—or anything else, for that matter. It’s all about lulling the conscious thought machine into being still. If you fall into the trap of thinking, “oh boy, this is really great sex,” or “oh my god, I have the best lover in the world,” then you’ve been defeated by your thinking machine. Instead, instruct your conscious mind to not think. The whole idea for you here, as a meditator, is to experience a deeper state of inner stillness and peace.

Deeper Sex, Deeper Love

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I promised to write about some of the practical, real-world ways you can take your sexual love relationship to a deeper, more meaningful level. These are valuable and immensely satisfying discoveries. So, I hope this knowledge will be beneficial. If that is true for you, please leave a comment and tell me about it.

The first practical step toward Deeper Sex/Deeper Love is simply getting more of the body’s nerve endings involved in the sexual act. The genitals have the second largest number of nerve endings of any area on the body. That’s why sex feels so good. But the lips and mouth have an even larger number of nerve endings, which means that open-mouth kissing during genital sex more than doubles the physical sensation of the act. From what women tell me, most men don’t kiss while making love. Hey, what is wrong with you guys?

Men, stop being so self-centered and thinking only about your own satisfaction. Create some good face-to-face, eye-to-eye intimacy, and start kissing your girl during the act.

In addition, a lot of you women need to learn how to open up wider to receive your lover. Several beneficial movements in Yoga are hip openers that greatly enhance your lovemaking skills. One way of doing this (in the missionary position) is to bend your knees, put the soles of your feet close together, bring the feet close to your seating bones, and let your knees fall apart as far as they can. Now, you can rotate your pelvis toward your lover, giving him the maximum penetration. The man can cup a hand under your buttocks and lift it slightly which helps to take his penis to the glory land. Wow. Subtle difference, but a major effect.

The chief goal here is maximizing body area that is being touched by both of you. Your bellies and chests will be rubbing together. And of course, you both should have your hands touching and caressing every part your lover’s body you can reach. The skin is known as the largest organ of the body. Touching and rubbing makes a huge difference. In addition to maximizing bodily touching, you can also use visual and auditory communication. Look into your lover’s eyes while you are making love. Kiss, nibble, and whisper into your lover’s ears. Express your feelings.

If you can put all this together, then you have achieved a huge step forward in being a good lover, at least on the physical level. One cute little name for this skill uses three four-letter words, the first two of which are full and body. So from now on, when I talk about the FBF, you’ll know what I mean, right?

Here’s your homework: Practice the FBF for a while, and I’ll work on some ideas to take us into the deeper realm of tantric lovemaking. Meanwhile, have fun.

Written by Eduardo Mitchell

May 10, 2012 at 5:27 pm