Finding Inner Calm and Deeper Wisdom

Go Deep to Learn Who You Really Are.

Getting Past Grief and Suffering

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My dear friend E: You told me recently about the passing of your father, and you described your terrible pain and suffering ever since then. Indeed from your description, you have been living with debilitating pain ever since, and you are not able to escape it. I have a few words for you that might help.

First and most importantly, you and your father had a long and deep relationship that created many years of joy. As in any loving human relationship, you and he knew all the while that, sooner or later, you and he would be parted by death of the physical body. This is true with everybody you love. It is also true for everybody I love. Actually, it is true for everybody.

However, long-standing love of such great depth goes deeper than just the physical body. In such a relationship, the human spirit that lives deep within one person establishes a connection with the human spirit deep within the other person. A simple way of saying that is: the two people develop a spiritual relationship.

From your own descriptions, I know that you have a spiritual connection with your father. However, your overwhelming grief and pain are preventing you from recognizing and using that connection. When you have a visitation from your father as you described, you must learn to get past your suffering and make yourself available to that moment. You must get past that pain and discover the joy of your connection with your father.

After all, so much of your father’s energy, especially his spiritual energy, was absorbed into you during all those years of his and your relationship. You are doing him and yourself a disservice by remaining “stuck” in your grief.

Your father’s love for you is real. And so is your love for him. There is no harm whatsoever in allowing yourself to spend time with him whenever future visitations happen. And you can use that as a time to look for the joy that you’ll find when you get past the pain.

Written by Eduardo Mitchell

July 9, 2019 at 2:23 pm

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